What's wrong with you guys?
Published in the Boulder Daily Camera, 2/10/16
Fanning the flames of the War against Political Correctness is a job I truly enjoy.
For years, Boulder, along with most of America, has been harangued by the Language Police as they fight to remove all hints of gender bias in America’s spoken and written word. Sounds good in principle, but fealty to gender neutrality has led us to some strange places, and I don’t mean co-ed bathrooms, which are fine with me. (Side note: put the seat up when you’re done, please, ladies.) No, I mean words like the emerging gender-neutral honorific Mx. (pronounced “miks”) instead of sexually charged terms like Ms., Mrs., and Mr.
Mx.? Come now.
In the interest of stopping further nonsense, I found myself getting all prickly over a letter published in last week’s Camera that bemoaned use of the phrase “you guys” when referring to groups including both men and women. The writer suggested that we must fight the use of “you guys” since it furthers societal bias against women.
Called out as particularly egregious users of “you guys” were waiters, waitresses, waitpersons, or whatever those guys are called these days. When dealing with customers, these waiters/waitresses/ waitpersons all-too-frequently ignite culture wars by asking loaded questions like, “What can I get for you guys?”
The solution suggested was to stiff the culturally insensitive waiters/waitresses/ waitpersons on the tip. Culture wars take no prisoners.
To be sure, we should all appreciate citizens who take public positions on any issue, including this one. But, my life experiences lead me to feel that this criticism wasn’t just much ado over nothing — it was culturally and ethnically insensitive to many of us who grew up in parts of the country that don’t say “y’all.”
Okay, pleading “cultural and ethnic insensitivity” is a bit over the top, but that is the stuff political correctness wars are built from and my inner drama queen needs to be fed. Bear with me, please.
I grew up in Buffalo, New York, which is more of a Great Lakes town than a relative of New York City. We Buffalonians share ancestry with and speak more like people from Chicago than Brooklyn.
Like many ethnic enclaves, we of the Great Lakes tribes have our own unique ways of addressing a bunch of people that goes beyond the only word English requires, which is the ambiguously singular or plural, “you.” For example, every Confederate state made the plural“you” an ever-endearing, “y’all.” When someone uses the term “y’all” with me, I get a taste of familiarity with a touch of friendship. I appreciate it.
In Buffalo, along with many other Great Lakes tribes, when we want to show familiarity and friendship to a mixed-gender group we refer to them as “you guys.” To many millions of us, “you guys” has always been a completely gender- neutral phrase as well as a term of endearment for the men and women to whom it is said.
Life experiences consistently reinforce my belief that people raised outside of my tribe understand me just fine. For example, in my life as a businessman— oops— businessperson, my management team was notably co-ed. Whenever I would ask a question like, “Which of you guys wants this big fat juicy new account?”, the women at the table never doubted that I meant them every bit as much as that bunch of lugs who worked for me. Whatever the Language Police may suggest, there were no covert sexual discrimination messages sent nor received by referring to my fellow team members as “you guys.”
At home, when encountering the carnage of some failed venture undertaken by my daughter and son led me to shout, “What did you guys do?”, my daughter had no doubt that she was on the list of suspects who had some explaining to do.
And, I’m just guessing that the phrase, “Nice guys finish last” doesn’t reassure women that, however bad it may be, at least they won’t be last.
So, the Language Police trying to kill the phrase “you guys” is an unneeded attack on a well-understood term of endearment that millions of Americans, including me, offer to our friends, family, and community. Quit bugging me.
Women have come a long way over the past century and now stand by men, not behind them, in American culture. There are more battles ahead to ensure a fair and equal future for my daughter and granddaughters, and we must fight them. Sending the Language Police after waitstaff for speaking like a Buffalonian will not help the cause one bit.
Fanning the flames of the War against Political Correctness is a job I truly enjoy.
For years, Boulder, along with most of America, has been harangued by the Language Police as they fight to remove all hints of gender bias in America’s spoken and written word. Sounds good in principle, but fealty to gender neutrality has led us to some strange places, and I don’t mean co-ed bathrooms, which are fine with me. (Side note: put the seat up when you’re done, please, ladies.) No, I mean words like the emerging gender-neutral honorific Mx. (pronounced “miks”) instead of sexually charged terms like Ms., Mrs., and Mr.
Mx.? Come now.
In the interest of stopping further nonsense, I found myself getting all prickly over a letter published in last week’s Camera that bemoaned use of the phrase “you guys” when referring to groups including both men and women. The writer suggested that we must fight the use of “you guys” since it furthers societal bias against women.
Called out as particularly egregious users of “you guys” were waiters, waitresses, waitpersons, or whatever those guys are called these days. When dealing with customers, these waiters/waitresses/ waitpersons all-too-frequently ignite culture wars by asking loaded questions like, “What can I get for you guys?”
The solution suggested was to stiff the culturally insensitive waiters/waitresses/ waitpersons on the tip. Culture wars take no prisoners.
To be sure, we should all appreciate citizens who take public positions on any issue, including this one. But, my life experiences lead me to feel that this criticism wasn’t just much ado over nothing — it was culturally and ethnically insensitive to many of us who grew up in parts of the country that don’t say “y’all.”
Okay, pleading “cultural and ethnic insensitivity” is a bit over the top, but that is the stuff political correctness wars are built from and my inner drama queen needs to be fed. Bear with me, please.
I grew up in Buffalo, New York, which is more of a Great Lakes town than a relative of New York City. We Buffalonians share ancestry with and speak more like people from Chicago than Brooklyn.
Like many ethnic enclaves, we of the Great Lakes tribes have our own unique ways of addressing a bunch of people that goes beyond the only word English requires, which is the ambiguously singular or plural, “you.” For example, every Confederate state made the plural“you” an ever-endearing, “y’all.” When someone uses the term “y’all” with me, I get a taste of familiarity with a touch of friendship. I appreciate it.
In Buffalo, along with many other Great Lakes tribes, when we want to show familiarity and friendship to a mixed-gender group we refer to them as “you guys.” To many millions of us, “you guys” has always been a completely gender- neutral phrase as well as a term of endearment for the men and women to whom it is said.
Life experiences consistently reinforce my belief that people raised outside of my tribe understand me just fine. For example, in my life as a businessman— oops— businessperson, my management team was notably co-ed. Whenever I would ask a question like, “Which of you guys wants this big fat juicy new account?”, the women at the table never doubted that I meant them every bit as much as that bunch of lugs who worked for me. Whatever the Language Police may suggest, there were no covert sexual discrimination messages sent nor received by referring to my fellow team members as “you guys.”
At home, when encountering the carnage of some failed venture undertaken by my daughter and son led me to shout, “What did you guys do?”, my daughter had no doubt that she was on the list of suspects who had some explaining to do.
And, I’m just guessing that the phrase, “Nice guys finish last” doesn’t reassure women that, however bad it may be, at least they won’t be last.
So, the Language Police trying to kill the phrase “you guys” is an unneeded attack on a well-understood term of endearment that millions of Americans, including me, offer to our friends, family, and community. Quit bugging me.
Women have come a long way over the past century and now stand by men, not behind them, in American culture. There are more battles ahead to ensure a fair and equal future for my daughter and granddaughters, and we must fight them. Sending the Language Police after waitstaff for speaking like a Buffalonian will not help the cause one bit.
