Free range bathrooms
published in the Boulder Daily Camera, May 2016.
We can all breathe a little easier today knowing that the United States Department of Justice has our backs on one of the final frontiers leading to a world where gender no longer matters. Let's set aside the oh-so-2015 issues of gender income inequality and the shrinking college male population – there is something more important to focus on at this moment in history.
I speak, of course, of the Justice Department's decision to do battle with the State of North Carolina regarding their recently passed law that, among other things, deems it illegal for a person to use a bathroom inconsistent with the, shall we say, equipment they were born with. Forcing biological men to stay out of women's bathrooms and women out of men's bathrooms? Surely, in the America of 2016, there is no room for this kind of intolerance among the enlightened.
Clearly, the State of North Carolina does not appreciate the current perspective of the transgender community that is most directly affected by this insult. The transgender community and much of America have been evolving at a rapid clip over the past few years and issues such as the freedom to pee wherever you please are seen today through a very different lens than just a few short years ago. There was a time in the ancient past, like around 2012, when Americans would have been shocked at the idea that our Federal Government might excommunicate a state for saying that biologically-based girls and boys should use the restrooms consistent with their biological sex, not the sex that they identify with. But, the world has turned and shame on those of you who have not evolved fast enough to embrace this new truth that biology is not supposed to matter anymore, even in bathrooms.
What we should all appreciate, though, is that what comes with this evolved perspective is not just full-time transgender rights to use any bathroom they choose, but greater rights of free choice for all of us. I mean, come on… all men carry around a feminine side (thanks Mom…) and I'd like to think most women bump into their masculinity from time to time as well. We've all been embracing our inner androgynous selves for decades now, and the world is a better place for it.
So, what could possibly be wrong with allowing my feminine side to shine through when, for example, the line at the men's room at Chautauqua is longer than the line for the women's room? Why can't I just choose that moment to let my female-identity emerge and take charge?
I've been a big fan of unisex bathrooms for a long time already. Like many, my first experience with unisex bathrooms was as a little kid in public swimming pools where actual bathrooms were always too far away and the water we were swimming in all too convenient. No discrimination among the sexes there. More recently, I've taken to encouraging women stuck in long lines at Chautauqua waiting to get into their biologically-bound bathroom to please just use the empty men's room, and many have taken up the offer. In recent travels, I've noted the worldwide trend towards more unisex public restrooms and, aside from the struggle over whether to leave the seat up or down when finished, it was fine with me.
However, in this era of sex-doesn't-matter-even-when-you-pee, there are issues of equality and lifestyle that cannot be ignored. Public unisex restrooms – and they are all pretty much unisex now – should consider biologically-driven interests equally.
In this spirit of gender-neuterality, I respectfully request that there be a urinal available in all public restrooms. Urinals use a fraction of the water that normal toilets use and we biologically-bound men should not have to sacrifice our commitment to Mother and Father Earth because of our sexual identity oscillations.
Also, please don't forget to hang the newspapers above the urinals for reading. I was surprised a few weeks ago to find out that not all biological women, including my wife, understood the amount of reading that biological men get done while using a urinal. Hank Aaron's lifetime batting average would still be a mystery to me if not for the sports pages I read while peeing at the West End.
For the rest of you troglodytes who still think that separate men's and ladies bathrooms have a place in our society, it's time to quit staring and move along.
We can all breathe a little easier today knowing that the United States Department of Justice has our backs on one of the final frontiers leading to a world where gender no longer matters. Let's set aside the oh-so-2015 issues of gender income inequality and the shrinking college male population – there is something more important to focus on at this moment in history.
I speak, of course, of the Justice Department's decision to do battle with the State of North Carolina regarding their recently passed law that, among other things, deems it illegal for a person to use a bathroom inconsistent with the, shall we say, equipment they were born with. Forcing biological men to stay out of women's bathrooms and women out of men's bathrooms? Surely, in the America of 2016, there is no room for this kind of intolerance among the enlightened.
Clearly, the State of North Carolina does not appreciate the current perspective of the transgender community that is most directly affected by this insult. The transgender community and much of America have been evolving at a rapid clip over the past few years and issues such as the freedom to pee wherever you please are seen today through a very different lens than just a few short years ago. There was a time in the ancient past, like around 2012, when Americans would have been shocked at the idea that our Federal Government might excommunicate a state for saying that biologically-based girls and boys should use the restrooms consistent with their biological sex, not the sex that they identify with. But, the world has turned and shame on those of you who have not evolved fast enough to embrace this new truth that biology is not supposed to matter anymore, even in bathrooms.
What we should all appreciate, though, is that what comes with this evolved perspective is not just full-time transgender rights to use any bathroom they choose, but greater rights of free choice for all of us. I mean, come on… all men carry around a feminine side (thanks Mom…) and I'd like to think most women bump into their masculinity from time to time as well. We've all been embracing our inner androgynous selves for decades now, and the world is a better place for it.
So, what could possibly be wrong with allowing my feminine side to shine through when, for example, the line at the men's room at Chautauqua is longer than the line for the women's room? Why can't I just choose that moment to let my female-identity emerge and take charge?
I've been a big fan of unisex bathrooms for a long time already. Like many, my first experience with unisex bathrooms was as a little kid in public swimming pools where actual bathrooms were always too far away and the water we were swimming in all too convenient. No discrimination among the sexes there. More recently, I've taken to encouraging women stuck in long lines at Chautauqua waiting to get into their biologically-bound bathroom to please just use the empty men's room, and many have taken up the offer. In recent travels, I've noted the worldwide trend towards more unisex public restrooms and, aside from the struggle over whether to leave the seat up or down when finished, it was fine with me.
However, in this era of sex-doesn't-matter-even-when-you-pee, there are issues of equality and lifestyle that cannot be ignored. Public unisex restrooms – and they are all pretty much unisex now – should consider biologically-driven interests equally.
In this spirit of gender-neuterality, I respectfully request that there be a urinal available in all public restrooms. Urinals use a fraction of the water that normal toilets use and we biologically-bound men should not have to sacrifice our commitment to Mother and Father Earth because of our sexual identity oscillations.
Also, please don't forget to hang the newspapers above the urinals for reading. I was surprised a few weeks ago to find out that not all biological women, including my wife, understood the amount of reading that biological men get done while using a urinal. Hank Aaron's lifetime batting average would still be a mystery to me if not for the sports pages I read while peeing at the West End.
For the rest of you troglodytes who still think that separate men's and ladies bathrooms have a place in our society, it's time to quit staring and move along.
